"Frenefits" as we call it, is a relatively new concept, or at least a relationship being clearly and openly defined as a purely sexual relationship for the benefit and enjoyment of both parties is a relatively new concept. While membership site like ours have made it easy to find your ideal FWB partner, there are still some rules or general guidelines which should be followed to ensure you and your partner get exactly what you want and expect out of the 'relationship' and that the benefit parts are not forgotten.
- Casual, But Respectful - Although FWB dating is by its very nature casual, this does not mean that there should not be anything other than a shared respect between partners. Be respectful of your frenefits partner and their time, don't take them for granted, treat them like an object or try to convince them to engage in any activity that they are not 100% comfortable with. Even though frenefits is a mutually benefits arrangement between consenting adults nothing takes the excitement and enjoyment out of it as quickly as a lack of respect or any behavior that would not be tolerated in a more conventional friendship.
- Be Clear on the Purpose of Your "Relationship" - you and your FWB should talk openly and honestly about the expectations of your "relationship" from the very beginning. Be honest with one another about what you being together sexually really is and exactly what you both want to get out of it. Avoid any confusion and hard feelings so you can both relax and enjoy it for what it is. If you only want to be available at weekends then state that openly and clearly. If certain sexual positions or tastes are not to your fancy be open about it. While it might sound slightly unnatural at the outset, having clear expectations of what you want and having a clear understanding or what your partner wants will lead to things running much smoother.
- Leave your Feelings at the Bedroom Door - A casual relationship will be anything but casual and enjoyable if feelings develop on one side that are not reciprocated on the other side. While it is not unheard of for frenefits to develop into something more, it is not overly common and can be difficult for a long-term relationship that has started out as frenefits to last the distance. Similarly, if you are having a FWB with the hope that your partner will fall for you or that something more meaningful will develop, it is likely you may be disappointed. FWB is about having a convenient sexual relationship that benefits both parties so in most cases feelings are best left at the bedroom door.
- Don't Be Clingy or Jealous - The basic rule of FWB is based on mutually beneficial sexual relationship with the common complications of a more traditional relationship
- Ensure it is What Your Want - Sometimes people are convinced they know what they want in advance only to find that their expectation was more of a fantasy and the real-life experience does not match up to their expectations. Always be comfortable that FWB continues to fulfill your needs. Often FWB suits a person for a particular period or stage in their life - but not thereafter - reassess on a regular to ensure FWB is really what you want and it is still working for you. As soon as it stops working for you or you become tired or bored of it more on to a different type of relationship that better suits your needs.
- Stay Safe - nothing kills the mood like an unplanned pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease. FWBs are not always exclusive so there could be other partners involved so stay safe and protect yourself...that way you can focus on just having fun.
- Don't Behave Like a Couple - One of the golden rules is don't act like a couple or do 'coupley' things together. Even though you are having sex you shouldn't do other things you wouldnt do with a friend - no holding hands, no goodbye kisses, no public displays of emotion.....you get the picture. If you start doing 'coupley' things together then you are going down the road of a regular couple and away from the vision of the wild encounters without commitment you had imagined at the outside.